I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
