Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
