i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
