It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
