Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
