I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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