Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Randomize
