Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
