and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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