If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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