Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
