I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
FUCK WHALES
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
