What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
