my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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