i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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