I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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