we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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