She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
