Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
