The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
