white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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