Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
