I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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