You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
