I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
