"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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