I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
