What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
