I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Randomize
