Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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