I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize