From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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