Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
that is very illegal...i love you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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