is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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