i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
