Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
