You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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