Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
