a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
