and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
