Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
