I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
