Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize