We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
