Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
