I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
