For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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