Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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