I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
