For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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