how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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