Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
