Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
