What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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