is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
