he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
