textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
