alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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