no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize
