I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
