Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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