rhymes with "ouble enetration"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
