a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
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his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
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Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize