omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
