She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think weed is turning my hair brown
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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