did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
