are you still at the devil's house?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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