i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
