Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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