If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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