They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
