I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
tell me about the eggs
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